ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
