I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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