whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
