so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Operation Purity has been aborted
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
