hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize