The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
