A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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