Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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