haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
