I have demons in me.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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