i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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