babies were throwing up all over the place
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
