Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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