remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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