Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
