How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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