remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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