You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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