you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
