You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
