The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish i was in the wii world.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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