found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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