My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
