all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
