I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize
