so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She's like a pop up book from hell.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
