We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
