That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
