I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
