He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
