Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
