you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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