If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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