He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
