THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
