Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I wish there were birth control emojis
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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