My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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