You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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