I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Redeem this text for a blowjob
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
