2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
