Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You dont lie about slip and slides
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
