If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
