Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk