Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  Wooohooo!  I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush.  Lots of happy people.

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  (510): Wooohooo!  I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush.  Lots of happy people. http://tfl.nu/ggkk
  Replies (3) Good night (1177) Bad night (1238)
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  (805): View more from California

  i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.

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  (805): i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog. http://tfl.nu/tph4
  Replies (3) Good night (2348) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.

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  (248): he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast. http://tfl.nu/sg9r
  Replies (32) Good night (1075) Bad night (7105)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  (917) i just came from walking.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  haha you just came from walking?

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  (309): (917) i just came from walking. (309) haha you just came from walking? http://tfl.nu/6hd4
  Replies (53) Good night (6068) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?

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  (786): Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful? http://tfl.nu/pwsi
  Replies (9) Good night (966) Bad night (3650)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.

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  (320): A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears. http://tfl.nu/pw7m
  Replies (41) Good night (2497) Bad night (5318)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.

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  (812): They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban. http://tfl.nu/cwx8
  Replies (8) Good night (4730) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time

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  (218): I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time http://tfl.nu/ndy7
  Replies (7) Good night (2889) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.

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  (406): Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me. http://tfl.nu/igpq
  Replies (5) Good night (799) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.

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  (940): The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library. http://tfl.nu/9n29
  Replies (12) Good night (1069) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He could stay over, if you'd just ask.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"

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  (706): He could stay over, if you'd just ask. (912): Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not" http://tfl.nu/x11w
  Replies (11) Good night (1299) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman

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  (520): Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman http://tfl.nu/fkwg
  Replies (3) Good night (675) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.

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  (513): You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when. http://tfl.nu/o3c9
  Replies (6) Good night (1475) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening

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  (501): When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening http://tfl.nu/gsvb
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost

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  (801): At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost http://tfl.nu/j4xa
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (405)

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