Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

the new term for farting is butt boxing.

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(248): View more from Michigan

i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(254): View more from Texas

just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile

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(208): View more from Idaho

I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.

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(775): View more from Nevada

He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand

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(602): View more from Arizona

How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.

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