Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.