the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
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Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
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there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?