so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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