Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
soo... how was my night?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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