Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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