So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
