he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
