I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
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Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.