You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out