Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize