Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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