thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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