Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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