"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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