My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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