great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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