I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My friends, they love my intelligence
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
