god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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